The garden

　I think I finished setting up my web/blog now。It feels satisfying! It would be even more cooler when I get to write a lot of entries in here。。。I just hope it does do some good in me, even if only a little bit。
　
　I've spent 2 weeks home alone for the first time, at least I'm still at home and not anywhere new。My aunt kept cooking rice for me even though I am capable of doing it myself, I'm almost 22 years old and I'm still being looked after like a kid haha。。。Sometimes I think I take these kinds of things for granted, who knows where I'll end up in if not for my family— as difficult as they can be in certain matters。。。I just wish I knew how to be independent。

　It was really lonely the first night I slept alone without my twin。It was just not normal for me, but I managed, I want to get used to it, I don't want to stay attached with my twin when they have so much they want to do when it's their turn to be independent。

　When is it gonna be my turn, I wonder? I'm terrified。I'm a danger to myself, I can't trust myself to be independent。

　I guess I'm a little hopeful now though, because my mama allowed me to take a gap year。It。。。surprised me really。I'm glad to have some breathing room on top of everything though。

　Things are still overwhelming。But hey I managed to make this website to throw my thoughts into the void so that's saying something, coding is no joke。
　
　I miss my friends。I really miss them。I wish I wasn't so tired all the time。They deserve a better friend than someone who constantly ghosts them。

　I need to get back to my commission grind haha。